An Early Goodbye Notice

Xiao has nearly, completely burned out like poor Chii here.

Before anyone panics, SoMT and episodic blogging for SC! are still going to continue.

I just wanted to mention this ahead of time so it wouldn’t feel like I dropped a huge bombshell for everyone who knows me well enough. But yes, I am sadly going to cease blogging by close to the end of this year if not sooner. My reasons are stated under the cut. It’s goddamn long and will make you think “Ugh, bitch complains too much” so think twice before reading the direly needed rant.

Anyone who follows me on twitter already knows what I’m talking about. A while back, I said I might stop blogging around September of this year, which is also the time I’m guesstimating that Shugo Chara! (maybe both the manga and anime) might hopefully end. I haven’t really decided if it was my final decision but I think it’s pointless to dwell on it any longer. Blogging isn’t for me. It’s not blogging that’s the problem. God knows how much I love it cuz it’s so fun to do. It’s just me…and I’m tired.

I made this blog because I wanted to blog the ongoing anime and manga I follow. But lack of time and I guess, serious connection to any other series besides SC!, caused that plan to backfire. Now ěk-sěn’trĭk looks like it’s a blog completely devoted to SC! which was not my intention at all.

And that second-to-last reason sounds stupid but as many of my readers know, I analyze and ramble a lot. And I can only do that if I find myself really, really drawn into a series cuz it’s easier to generate a post out based on all the thoughts . Maybe it’s a little silly cuz I do know there are other anime/manga out there that are as or more deep than SC! but though I can certainly connect with them, I’m just not getting as much out of it as I would’ve thought. It’s not enough to motivate me to want to ramble out it on and on for ten pages or more.

Yes, I’m a person who can’t settle for nice, brief blurbs. That’s not my thing. Blogging (only for me) has to be lengthy. Not to mention, when I ramble that much, it takes up a lot of my time and energy to make a post and those are rather limited even during the summer with my courses and all. SC! just so happens to conveniently air right before my weekend so I can spend a whole Saturday delving into it till I’m content. And after doing a major long post, I’m exhausted. I don’t really want to do anything else for a few days.

Which leads to my procrastination disease (aka me sitting around and doing absolutely nothing but staring up at my ceiling). I cannot count how many times I said to myself, “Ok, I’m going to blog _____ and post a review about it on ______”, angst about how far behind I am, and then give up cuz I’ve angst over it so much that it would be just better if I let it go than continually drag it on and endure self-torture. It left me very distraught cuz I had to delete quite a few good drafts for things I really, really wanted to talk about. But when it’s two months late like how it was for my beloved idol Utada Hikaru’s latest English album (Hikki, please forgive me), I just can’t bring myself to post it. I know it shouldn’t be a big deal cuz hell, post it whenever you feel like it, right? Still…I just can’t. *wallows in self-frustration*

…Heh. Yea, believe it or not, I actually did had high hopes and a large amount of confidence that I’ve found the substitution for SC! when it finally comes to an end and therefore, save my blog from being almost permanently glued on a one-way road. And that was Pandora Hearts. And it’s a shounen series. God, it’s been so long since I’ve been back to shounen especially since I’m just fed up with TRC even with its latest chapters. I really wanted to blog PH so I could rant about how horrible Xebec was for making it so crappy-looking (and it still does is crappy looking but I’m still following it) and go on and on about how the manga was so much better. But due to procrastination, I just…lost it.


HUUUUUUU~~~

…So yea, I really won’t force myself to blog when I don’t feel like it but I don’t want this procrastinating to keep on eating away my insides when I actually feel like blogging. It’s awful. I’d rather just…can’t believe I’m saying this since I love blogging so much but would rather not have a blog then think of it as a burden. Which I don’t but…y’know.

Among other things, I think I have a slight bit of a mental problem but this is just what I think so I’m right since it’s about myself and anything else you say otherwise is incorrect cuz I’m stubborn about my issues :P and I won’t go into too much detail. Either way, I’ve become increasingly negative about a lot of things and that’s mainly due to stress from my outside life. Namely the problems I’ve been having with my family and such. Shut up. This is a mental issue for me! … See. I feel sorry for the people who have to deal with me (I complain up a storm every single day on my other personal twitter account) and I don’t want it to become more of problem than it already is, especially on something that is entirely unrelated. It’s true. My negativity seeped into too many of comments and I hate it. I’m not a person to continue going on about a bad mood. I just tell myself to suck it up and move on. Too bad that hasn’t been working lately so I’m pulling my whole self out first. I can’t stand it when I can’t control my temper. I feel like a fanbrat. Ugh.

And speaking of fanbrats…I don’t think I can take fandoms anymore. This is far from saying that fandoms are the cause of my blogging coming to a somewhat end cuz I blog because I want to scream shit at the crappy fandoms for their often massive stupidity ruining everyone else’s appreciation for an anime or manga. But after experiencing what has got to be one of the most (or just my most) horrible fandoms in history, I really don’t have the stamina to go through another. And every fandom has its fair share of bad fans. I’ve just had enough of them. I’m old. They aren’t worth the trouble or attention. Not that I ever got any bad fans who visited my blog (god, I love my commenters so much because I know most of them are SMART!) or interacted with the wrong crowd or anything but I think it’s time I started ushering my hobby back into its secluded (yet comfy) spot when I wouldn’t give a damn in the world about what the shallow, immature brats thought. If I like it or am fine with it, and you don’t, then you suck, loser!

…aha~, my temper got the better of me again. Sorry.
Just wanted to make it clear (in case there are any misunderstandings) for all the bloggers and commenters I talk with on a regular basis or anyone else who I can hold a decent conversation with that I never, ever ever ever thought this way of you. I really do appreciate people who are true fans and can tell who’s shallow and who’s not and usually the shallow ones like to stay as far away from me as they can…and they better cuz I hate it when someone ruins my mood over something so trivial and just plain stupid. I’ll rip them apart and you know I will.

…*sigh* I think it’s also because I’ve been so active in fandoms lately that I’ve become even more sensitive to what other people think. Especially people who make negative remarks so easily (on something I actually like a lot) with and (more often) without so much of a good reason and then smile to themselves and think they’re the best for thinking so. Maybe the former I wouldn’t mind too much since they can back up what they say and I can just learn to ignore/get over it but the latter just gets me extremely angry. I know it’s all about respecting other people’s opinions and that on the internet, you can say whatever the hell you want but I’d just like to see a little more reserve, that’s all. It’s not that I’m closed off to disagreements. I just want it done with composure. Keh, but I know that’s impossible so what use is there in me saying it and hoping for any improvements now? And it’s not like I haven’t felt the same way or done similar things at times but I never pompously flaunt it around as if it’s the Pope’s underwear or anything.

Ok, I’ll shut up cuz then I’ll be setting everything to my standards (another thing I want to avoid). I just find that kind of negativity rather offensive when it doesn’t really apply to certain situations. It just suddenly ruins my good (or at least, stable) mood and I’m left to deal with it until I’m tired enough to sleep off the bad feelings. Of course, I can just ignore their stupid comments or just say to myself it shouldn’t matter but…I can’t. I’m not going to lie, it is upsetting for me. It does matter to me. I’m a sensitive person. And sometimes my stupid, cursed curiosity gets the better of my common sense when I do see something that will surely make me infuriated. What’s frustrating is since it’s someone else’s opinion on a public site and I actually have more decency than half of the world does (or maybe I just lack the guts, I don’t know), I have no right to yell in their face about how utterly retarded they are so I’m forced to bite down on my tongue and stick my head into my pillow for the next few hours feeling disgusted.

…But oh, I really should do that sometime. I really should. Against the flimsy fans, anyway. Sure, you can say whatever you want (to be slammed down in the most excruciating way) but it’s another thing to let others be infected by your own immature stupidity and then let it multiply. This has happened way too much for me to stand cuz it’s ruining the meaning of what a fandom/dedicated community should be…

…*sigh* Whatever…it shouldn’t matter anymore. I’m pulling out. I don’t want to care unless I choose to. *heavy sigh*

…Eh…what else?
Oh yea. I miss writing. Just writing for fun. Not planning a novel or anything. So I want to get back to that and a few other things I have planned. Don’t know if I’ll be able to since I’m still kept busy even by SoMT and SC! alone but I’ll try.

That and I’m not going to attach myself too closely to a series like I did to SC! anytime soon. If I get too attached to it, I get too serious (and therefore, too sensitive). There’s also nothing new that I find really extremely exciting or anything that would make me go remotely…

…anymore. That’s disappointing.

I’m probably the only person in the world who has not touched an episode of Eden of the East. *gets killed by fans* The summer lineup looks alright but in truth, even that with the expected fall lineup I’m just looking forward to because I have something to look forward to. And I think that’s easier on me. I just want to enjoy watching something. Blogging it would be fun but it’s just more stuff to do. And I’m not up to it anymore.

…um…but I guess I still have room for a little hope (maybe for a certain light novel I want animated but chances of that happening are still slim at this point). Though I’m pretty sure blogging is going to come off my Want-To-Do list, ěk-sěn’trĭk is still going to stick around just in case I feel like sharing any news or thoughts about…well, anything related to anime or manga, merchandise I bought, or stuff of the sorts. No personal emo-ing. I think I gave everyone enough of that already. ^^;

It’ll probably be rarely, though. I don’t buy a lot of stuff often (well, as of late, that’s not true |D; ). I’d like to comment on albums I got but nah. Then I’ll have overly-critical music fans running amok and they annoy me.

Let me just remind that I’ll still be doing SoMT even after I cease blogging. I put a lot of work into it so it’d be a shame if I just dropped that now. Plus, it’s my baby. None of you can have it. It’s mine, I tell you. MINE! Nyaaa~ :P

lol XD;

And of course, I’ll definitely still be floating around the blogosphere, visiting everyone’s blog, making long ass annoying comments cuz that’s what I do best.


Neeee~?

Haha, so yea, just reassuring that I won’t disappear.

And so ends this sloppy SO PERSONAL post. I’m glad I got that off my chest. Ahhh~ Now I can do everything without feeling strained. Though I still have a lot to do but will get to that later. *relaxed*

Sorry if you had to read through all this crap and it just wasted a good 10 minutes of your day. I’ll find a way to make it up all to you. TwT

But here, some more cuteness at least.

Kyaaa! Chii is so cute! <333

lol, ok. That's all.

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12 thoughts on “An Early Goodbye Notice

  1. T__T That’s too bad. I love your rants. I can understand why you would want to stop though to an extent. Fanbrats are bratty and it is hard to fit in blogging when you have other things to do, especially if your someone who likes to put her best effort forward. The main purpose of a hobby (like anime watching) is too enjoy it, and not to be bothered by anybody else.

    Heh. Everyone knows its your baby. Maybe you`ll be able to set up a new site for SoMT?

  2. Aww, thank you. I’m glad you like my rants. If anything, I would totally stay for my fellow bloggers and readers but…yea. Right now, I just need a break from everything.

    & yep. That’s what I’m planning. This is a personal blog so it’s not going to get much awareness out there (though the promotion from everyone does help so thank you~!). A main site for SoMT is going to be my main goal after this year’s is finished.

  3. Aww…it’s too bad to see you go. I wish I could say something to persuade you not to, but you have legitimate reasons, and I could totally understand why. I’ll miss reading your super long entertaining posts.

    My blog has the same problem looking like it only cares about SC! but just never gets around to doing other stuff. So I understand where you’re going at. But you have other posts outside of SC!, so it isn’t like a blog where there is nothing BUT SC! Believe me, I’ve seen those. X.X So really, none of your reasons are stupid. And I respect you a lot for your rambles, and it’s really respectable to know that you always go full out on your posts.

    Ah the procrastination disease, I have that too. Geez, some of my drafts are from two months ago. x-x I know how it feels to want to do something but either never have a chance to do it or lose motivation. It would’ve been nice to see you blog about Pandora Hearts though, since I never got around to watching the series, even though it was the series I looked forward to the most. Maybe when you are done with blogging you can show us some of your drafts? It would really be nice since I would definitely like to read some of your posts (the topics seem interesting).

    There aren’t very many awe-like anime coming out, so I could definitely understand that. SC! is just such a great series it’s something that most people who enjoy it attach to much more than other series. And a favorite to most~ I mean, it’s already at episode 85, with people still devoted to following it (since it’s a lot of episodes for shoujo). It’s just one of those irreplaceable series… Gasp! You haven’t watched Eden of the East? Watch it!!

    I’m glad that you’ll still be in the blogosphere though, and continuing to comment. I really enjoy seeing your comments, and honestly, I always smile after reading them. :] I hope to still see at least some posts after SC! and SoMT.

    Ooh, a website would be totally awesome. Free host or paid? If you’re going to do free, I’d definitely recommend Webs (Freewebs).

    But anyways, good luck with RL! It really is too bad to see you say goodbye though…TT^TT

  4. Awwwww. That’s really sad.
    But the thing is… I know what you mean. Blogging is a commitment… I was just about ready to give up on it up until about a week ago. I wouldn’t know how hard it is for a college student to keep up with everything like this as you are… I’m trying to understand. :.<// There is a reason why you are living, and that is to enjoy yourself, and succeed in your own way. People shouldn't expect things out of you, and that always makes me feel terrible. If it makes me feel terrible, it'll make everyone feel terrible. Keep trying. Just always remember that you're not alone. You don't need to suffer by yourself. And we're all really thankful you've been with us, visiting our blogs and leaving wonderful comments, and contributing so much to a show we all love. Even when it ends, even when everyone is sad, I think we'll all be a bit relieved. That's something to look forward to.

    Good luck with everything. And until you leave the blogosphere… I'll always be following your blog. :'D Until then, we should just keep our spirits up. Even though it's hard to say goodbye, everyone has to eventually. ^^;

  5. Ohhh, that’s too bad ;;________;; I’m sure all of us readers of eksentrick, love your posts! We’ll definitely miss those! =3= lmao xD

    I understand how you feel with this negativity and stuff. I’m like that too, I’m always bothered what other people may think so it’s troubling me thinking if my posts would trouble someone or anyone. *sigh* I had the same problem before, to the point of wanting to delete my blog, because of my negativity over things. I felt like I had to make a post on everything I watch when I should only post about what I have something to say on. I’m not entirely sure if that mental problem has been solved now but I’m moving on~ XD

    Though I still ramble a lot on my private blog xP

    Oh and the feeling that you want to b*tchslap some fan..? We all get that, but I guess we still have respect on them that’s why we don’t do so. We’re good people! X3

    It’s always best to take a break and decide on what you want to do – even if it does mean staking something important to you. I’m not saying that it’s a good thing but all of us here, no matter how much we’ll miss your posts, are happy with what you’ve decided with. Okay? We’ll always support you~ <33

    And what's wrong with not seeing Eden of the East yet? It's not like it's a crime not to do so, right? xD There's always other free times when you can watch Eden of the East and hun, no one's forcing you to do it so don't feel bad m'kay~? ;D All of us have our priorities and it just happened the SC! is yours so no harm done~

    Well, at least you're not going to completely disappear from the blogsphere because that would be such a great loss. lol. I'm sure we all think so XP

    Good luck with everything!~ :]

    Oh and it’s not like you’re leaving right now so.. looking forward to more Xiao Jie awesomeness, ne~?

    ~Kitari x3

  6. That’s really sad T__T. But we totally respect your decision and will be in your side whatevs the reason will be ^^. All I can say is to hope you good luck in your life and for your personal issues will be settled soon.

    About the negativity, you’re not the only one XD. I have like, tons of drafts as well and I’m so hesitating to post some stuff because I don’t know how fanbrats will react or say, and I don’t want to be annoyed. And I also procrastinate a lot too lol. I’m like, doing something that’s more important but I seldom gets distracted by small cute stuff, which leaves me finished what I have to do on the last minute.

    And to be really honest, even if I’m not that huge of an SC! fan and I’m still on like, still on episode 65+ of something *gets shot*, I totally read your current episode posts lol because they’re really funny and entertaining (and it totally feels like I’m literally watching the show, just with extra funny side commentary XD) So thank you for your posts. sorry for lurking in them though, lol.

    Not only your posts, and the ever-fiahce SoMT is what I’m really enjoying, but also your comments. Really, I love reading them and they totally bring a smile on my face and I can like finally say, “Omigosh someone understands my language!” XD lol.

    And don’t worry about that annoying music-know-it-all fan, it’s so rude of him/her to steam out like that to a precious commenter of mine DX *huggles you–glares at him*. And there’s really a big difference between sharing your thoughts and being a no-fun elitist a-hole.

    Eden of the East is a cool series, but no one’s forcing you to watch it, lol. And OMG I really cannot wait for Fall as well because the Fall season is known for being the best anime season in every year~ Kobato., Kimi ni Todoke, and maybe a sequel to Haruka Nogizaka are just examples on what to await for~

    A FIERCESS will always be a FIERCESS, hun~ So stay strong! :DDD Again, good luck with everything ^^.

  7. Seeing all of the picture of Chii while reading this made me want to keep petting your head like a kitty. It made all of the rambling seem so incredibly tragically sad (and terribly cute) too. Like a cute little kitty saying that it’s tired and…d’aww.

    But I’ll be serious now. Um…I guess all I can really say is that I completely understand why. A couple of months ago I would have gone, “nuuu!” but now I think I totally understand where you’re coming from. Plus the previous warnings on Twitter may be helpful.

    If I didn’t have my anime blog going on while I was trying to finish high school I never would have gotten as stressed as I did about it. Having my “escape” lead me to so many mood-shattering ignorant responses every day is…well it just totally takes the good mood out of me. And I can totally see how even if you don’t get comments exactly like that, you’d still want to back out of blogging when you have real life stuff going on. It’s not like you can really just have a blog. It makes you more involved in everything. Then the more involved you get in something the more you invest in it, including your feelings and then…it just tires you out.

    I think when I go back to school next time I’m putting the blog in semi-hiatus. I can’t quit, it’s part of my soul now~

    As long as you’re keeping open the possibilities for blogging randomly in the future and as long as you’re not SoMT, I guess all I can do is…be happy for you? You really do need to let it go if it’s stressing you out after all. That’s not what blogging is about.

    Also, if you’re still commenting, I’m a happy girl (I miss my spam sometimes~). For me blogging is all about discussion and such anyway. But if you disappear completely, I’m coming after you. I’m sure 7 would help me and then you’d be in trouble~

    And um…pretend I said some really inspirational and comforting things because I can’t think of anything right now. Not even corny stuff. Just that you should do what you want to and I hope you feel better now. As long as you’re still around, I’m fine.

    …I do feel like a horrible person because I’m not saying how said this is and T_T-ing like everyone else though. But hopefully you know that I’m not like…immune to this news. I think I’m just this way because I understood it (I hope…please don’t tell me the interweb is taking away my feeling! lol) Yeah, I just hope you’ll be less stressed now. ^_^

    Ah…and now I totally have to watch Chii.

  8. Awww, that’s depressing, but I can totally understand your reasons. I’ve always been curious about blogging anime or manga, but I’ve stayed away from it for those very reasons you cited. I think that I would begin feeling the same way that you do.

    I will admit that I’m sad (mostly because I have no other way to stay in contact with you, but also because I really enjoy reading your posts) but I think that if it’s what you really want or need, it’s probably the best decision and you should be proud for knowing enough to make it.

  9. I refuse to acknowledge that you’re leaving until the real thing happens! Even more so especially since you’re coming back for some stuff, no matter how small they are.

    But ah well, you have to do what you have to do. I really can’t blame you for anything especially since your reasons are very legitimate…especially the getting stressed part. I myself actually thought of staying off blogging for a while for the same reason, but the stubborn part of me just can’t seem to find the ability to do so. I guess I’ll be seeing myself at a hospital very soon. Yes, stress kills…so go and relieve yourself.

    Of course, I’ll be very saddened when you actually take your leave. I enjoy reading comments, especially from fangirls like you – it gives blogging a whole new spin. In fact, I love your comments so much, I even look for them from somebody else’s blog! I can say the same for your posts; and while it’s true that I don’t comment on them often, it gives me an ‘inside’ look on some stuff that I normally don’t care about. With you gone, there’s one less person on my potential harem to bash on to interact with.

    Just like Fuyu mentioned, (what?! we’re thinking of the same thing? UNPOSSIBLE!!!) you better not disappear completely. I will track you down with every stalking skill set I have. Oh wait, I’ve already done that…never mind.

    If there’s any consolation from this outrageous post, it would be that SOMT will still be around. So I guess that’s good for now.

    Other than that, I hope things for you will go for better.

  10. ::HUG::::GLOMP::::HUG:: I completely understand!

    I’m so glad that you got all of that off of your chest, you must feel so light right now, and that’s a very, very good thing! I won’t write too much, since I don’t think you need that at the mo. You just need to know that there will always be people there for, and certainly people who will understand you. For example…me! XD My goodness, as I was reading all that you had written, I knew that we were on the same level somewhere.

    I’m sure you read my post for episode 85, about how I had to take a break from Shugo Chara fandom, yeah…I definitely needed that. You should take a break too (one week, if we get another unimportant filler or something, you should just take a break and not write a post on it.) Or I don’t know…something. You deserve a break. Like I was saying though, I can relate to you in so many ways, from the frustration at the childish fan brats who don’t know what the heck they are talking about to the morals that I have which makes it impossible for me to rip apart some of the things some fans write in forums and such to the inability to write something brief. When it comes to talking…I’m very direct and short, but when it comes to writing…yeah, not so much…=.=

    If you ever just want someone to talk to though, to rant to or even to discuss things such as Pandora Hearts (which is amazing! I’m really loving this series (another series you should check out is Axis Powers Hetalia, each episode is only 5 min. long and it’s really cute and funny (I also suggest the amazing anime series Mononoke, which is very philosophical and has a unique drawing and animation style) to Utada’s new CD (which I was happy that I was able to buy at my local FYE and that I actually quite like listening to (my mother does as well!) So, remember, you can just send me a PM through FF.Net or e-mail me (my e-mail is the same as my screen name, just at AOL.)

    The annoyance of how this blog has just become a Shugo Chara blog, I can see that, no problem (the same thing would probably happen to me if I tried to blog.) Blogging just isn’t my thing either. I also know the listless feeling of procrastination, I do believe college made it worse for me! D: But, try to enjoy the summertime! Go to a con and have fun! (Are you going to any cons, or is that too fandom friendly for you right now?)

    I’ll end this by saying that you are not the only one who has not watched a lick of Eden of the East, I haven’t either, and that Chii was uber adorable! X3 Never forget that there are people who adore you and really didn’t mind reading your rant (because they could relate or simply because it seemed like you really needed to write that and get all of that off your chest.) Ganbatte ne!

    ::HUG::::GLOMP::::HUG:: Take care~! (^^)o

  11. It would be sad if you were to stop blogging completely, or blogging less :c But I understand how fandoms and such can burn you out, and it begins to feel more like an obligation than an enjoyment.

  12. Gah, I’ve missed so much, just because China thinks it’s a good idea to block wordpress. :[

    D: This is so depressing!! But I do understand your reasons, blogging shouldn’t be something you have to stress over (though lord knows, I’m one to talk), and if you’re burnt out, stopping is most certaintly an understandable solution!

    Glad you’ll still be lurking about though. ;] Your comments always make my day!!

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